So heres the situation. I havent had sex since May at IML and Ive been sexually frustrated. The reason is because of neglect and fear. I had some issues down below, and was afraid of the worst. I hesitated on getting tested for HIV, and other STDs figuring it HAD to be the reason. Finally I broke down, got tested, came out negative, and thought it was good but it would have been easier to figure out what was going on with my body if they were positive.

So now my thoughts go deeper. Could it be something even bigger and since I started the process, I may as well continue. I went to my doctors finally, and everything that I had worried about, was natural. It wasnt an STD, wasnt serious, but because of my skin condition (ichthyosis), it made my penis a bit dry and from masturbation, prevented things from healing. With some prescribed cream, Im back in business with a clean bill of health.

Awesome you say? Well now it brings be back to my frustrations. Im sexually frustrated, need sex, and not only that, Im really missing my submissive side more. For the past 2 years, Ive been more on the dominant side, or somewhere in the middle. Ive felt for the longest time that I couldnt be submissive. I had an image to uphold.

This weekend I got to connect with that side even if it was just for a short time. I was asked to do a rope bondage demo with someone I find EXTREMELY hot, someone I trust completely, and it made me realize how much I missed that connection. (btw, Thank You again)

So Im frustrated on a couple of levels now and hoping I can get what I need to get past this. Im so close but feel I need to play more, be out there, be played with, and enjoy my sexuality more as a sub. I need to learn.